Every animal in this collection raised a paw when the sergeant asked for volunteers, and most of them did it before hearing what the job was. The Bravest of All is the roll call of uniforms in I've Got This… Hold My Beer: soldiers, pilots, astronauts, sailors, dispatchers and doctors, each one standing proud with a well-earned drink in hand.
Medals, berets and camouflage
Aardvark Army leads the parade in an officer's cap, aviator shades and a chest full of ribbons, holding a mug like it was issued with the rank. Admiral Bear stands at attention in navy dress blues with gold braid on the sleeves. Badger Bash wears a red beret and a camo jacket, Commando Coon is zipped into his fatigues with a pint at the ready, and Camo Manatee proves that even the gentlest creature in the water can look tactical when the uniform fits. Air Ace Fox tops it off in flight goggles against a field of stars, ready for the flyover.
Out past the clouds and over the waves
Astro Raccoon Rex and Astronaut Sloth Sami suit up in full space helmets, and Sami is almost certainly the slowest countdown in mission history. Captain Octo wears a captain's hat and handles the ship's business with a mug in one of his many free arms. Coast Guard Seal sits framed by a ship's wheel and a life ring, and Crab Commander glows in every color of the reef, claw raised to keep the tide in order.
The ones who answer the call
Dispatch Walrus wears a headset over his whiskers and has heard every kind of emergency, most of them involving a neighbor and a ladder. Cop Seal strikes a pose in a police cap, Badge Dolphin splashes through a burst of color in hers, and the doctors show up in lab coats with head mirrors and a cold one for after the rounds: Doctor Bear Bob, Doctor Ramsey Raccoon and Doctor Riley Raccoon, a practice with excellent bedside manner and questionable break room habits.
For the person who shows up first
This collection belongs to the one who served, the one still serving, and the one who runs toward the noise while everyone else is still finding their shoes. It is for the retired Marine who tells the same story every Thanksgiving and gets the biggest laugh every time, the pilot who narrates the drive to the grocery store, the medic who keeps the first aid kit in her purse. Find the animal in their uniform and you will hear yourself say that is SO him. Salute, raise the mug, and let the sloth finish his countdown. It could take a while.
Written by Liam. Thanks for reading.
