A walrus carries a lot of dignity for an animal that gets around mostly by flopping. The tusks help. So does the mustache, which is objectively the finest in the animal kingdom. Walrus is the I've Got This… Hold My Beer collection for the big, whiskered, dependable type, the ones who show up for work every day and still find time to lounge like a king afterward.
On the radio
Dispatch Walrus sits at the center of a splash of watercolor blues and purples, a headset clamped over his head, long ivory tusks resting on his chest and a tall glass of beer parked in front of him. This is the calmest voice on the channel. The caller is panicking, the units are scrambling, and the walrus is simply breathing through the whiskers and saying, all right, tell me where you are. He has handled everything from kitchen fires to a goat on the highway, and not once has he raised his voice. The beer, for the record, is for after the shift. He has earned it several times over.
On the job site
Constructive Walrus works in daylight, and he dresses for it: a yellow hard hat perched above the mustache, a bright orange safety vest stretched over the belly, a shovel in one flipper and a pint waiting on the ground. A walrus does not need heavy equipment. A walrus is heavy equipment. When he leans on the shovel and surveys the site, everyone else quietly agrees the work is done.
For the big teddy bear in your life
These designs are for the one with the magnificent mustache and the softer heart than he lets on. The dispatcher who has talked a hundred people through their worst night, the foreman who brings donuts on Friday, the dad who naps on the couch like it is a sunny rock on the coast and snores loud enough to prove it. Put a walrus in front of them and they will pretend to be offended for about three seconds before they admit it, because that is SO him. Walruses can sleep in the water, standing up, floating, almost anywhere. Yours probably already does.
Written by Liam. Thanks for reading.
