Every great stunt starts with the same two words, and you already know which ones. Extreme Fun is the dare collection of I've Got This… Hold My Beer: skateboards, surfboards, sails, gliders and ropes, ridden by animals with no training, no fear and a drink in hand for the victory lap. Consider this the highlight reel from the most unqualified action sports festival ever held.
The skate park
Skateboard Stomper sets the tone, an elephant rolling down the ramp with a beer curled in his trunk beside the words Bet You Can't Beat This. Skater Skeleton grinds a rail in a hooded jacket with Bones on Rails lettered behind him, not worried in the slightest about what a fall might break. Skater Dude Parrot spreads his rainbow wings on a board of his own, and the shark team fills out the bracket, Half Pipe Shark, Skater Dude Shark, Skate Shark, Skateer Shark and Shark's Skate Venture each kicking off with a mug held high.
Air time
Hang Gliding Shark floats beneath a rainbow canopy above a tiny green island, and Prickly Plunge is a hedgehog in goggles hanging on tight to a rope over a mountain valley, spikes bristling, bottle in paw. He has absolutely decided to do this. He is less sure about how.
The water heats
Hang Ten Claws surfs a golden wave in bold silhouette. Surf, Snooze, Repeat puts a sloth on a board with a mug, looking like he might nap through the finals. Otter Kayaking Strokes paddles by in dark shades, Surffing Dolphin Waves balances a beer on the nose of his board, and Surfin Simian, Surfin Pacaderm and Windsurfer Meerkat ride the watercolor swells in style. The sharks turn up here too, bursting from the waves and paddling the kayak, because they were never going to sit out a heat. Up on the judges' perch, Parrot Paradise and Toucan Paradise have taken the best seats among the flowers, drinks in reach, and they have scored every run a perfect ten so far.
For the one who says watch this
This is for the one who took up skateboarding at forty, the aunt who went parasailing on the cruise and will show you the video, the teenager who wants to be a pro skater, the dad who still thinks he can land a kickflip if everyone would just stop filming. Point them at the elephant and they will say it out loud, that is SO me. And for the record, nobody has beaten the elephant. Nobody has tried. He is still rolling.
Written by Liam. Thanks for reading.
