Here is a secret that took most of us far too long to work out. Almost nobody knows what they are doing. The ones who seem like they do are just better at the voice.
The Voice Is A Real Thing
You have heard it. Steady, unhurried, slightly amused. It says "yeah, I've got this" and the whole room relaxes even though nothing has actually been solved yet.
That voice is not lying. It is buying time, and time is usually all anybody needed.
What The Voice Is Actually Doing
Confidence is not a claim about your ability. It is a promise about your behaviour. It says: I am not going to panic, I am not going to run, and I am going to keep working on this until it is sorted.
You can honestly promise all three of those while having no idea what the answer is. Which means you can be confident and clueless at the same time, and nobody has to know about the second part.
How To Get It
Nothing mystical here. Four habits, all learnable.
- Slow your voice down. Panic is fast. Calm is slow. Your body believes whichever one you perform.
- Say what you will do, not what you know. "I'll sort it" always beats a shaky explanation.
- Stop apologising for existing. Cut the word "just" out of your sentences and watch what happens.
- Decide something. Anything. A made decision beats a perfect undecided one every time.
Then Actually Follow Through
One catch, and it is a big one. The voice only works if you back it up. Do the confident voice and then vanish, and you are not confident, you are just loud.
Say I've got this. Then get it. That is the whole brand in six words.
Beer optional. Follow through is not.
Written by I've Got This… Hold My Beer. Thanks for reading.