Nobody in the backyard takes a squirrel seriously, which is exactly why the ones in Chipmunks & Squirrels started showing up in uniform, fully convinced they are running the place. Every one of them has a job, a cold drink in paw, and I've Got This… Hold My Beer arched over their heads like a promise nobody asked them to make. They are small, they are fluffy, and they have absolutely handled worse than whatever you are dealing with today.
Suited up and reporting in
Tactical Squirrel stands at attention in a green tactical vest loaded with pouches, tail fanned out behind him, a frosty mug raised like he just finished the mission and filed the report himself. Next to him, a squirrel in a police cap and a blue uniform jacket, badge pinned on straight, holds out a green bottle with the settled look of an officer who has decided this block is his beat now. Neither of them is taking questions, and neither of them looks worried about a single thing.
The chipmunk with the stories
Marine Munk is the chipmunk of the crew, stripes running down his back and patches all over his blue jacket. He sits back on his haunches with a can in one paw and a tall glass of beer parked at his feet like a trophy. He has the face of someone halfway through a story that starts with "so there I was" and gets a little longer every time he tells it. The glass at his feet suggests he is settling in for the extended version.
The one who patches everybody up
Squirrel Nurse wears a white cap with a red cross and teal scrubs, a foamy mug in one paw and a bottle with a red cross label in the other. She sits inside a round badge on black, framed by two banners, and she carries herself like someone who has bandaged every backyard mishap in the neighborhood and still had energy left for the break room. Her expression says she has seen the chart and she is not impressed, but she will fix you anyway.
For the one who runs toward the noise
These designs are for people who wear the uniform for real: the nurse coming off a double, the officer who knows every street by the potholes, the veteran who still stands a little straighter around a good tactical vest. They are also for the backyard naturalist who names every squirrel at the feeder and swears the big one is plotting something. Picture your person telling a story at the grill, making it bigger with every beer, and you already know which squirrel is theirs. Somewhere out there a chipmunk is burying an acorn he will definitely remember where he put, and he has never been more confident about anything.
Written by Liam. Thanks for reading.
